(Part seven.)

Kalinka Black in "What Christmas Means to Me", Part Two

The light. The light that was guiding me. I continued my movement towards it, my legs pushing themselves almost automatically towards it. My walk now slow and mechanical, I watched the small light come into focus. It steadily gained shape as I walked closer. It gained weight and became something tangible. I noticed, then, that a sound seemed to be coming from it. Small and faint at first, but it soon grew louder. A voice.
A voice? No, that couldn't be right. Who would be stupid enough to be outside now?
"Hello..." the sound seemed to drift of the wind. "Hello...?" It was questioning. It was calling out.
But no, I couldn't believe that the sound belonged to a person. I couldn't help but think that if it wasn't my imagination, whoever it was would be dead soon. The voice would stop calling out and then the light would stop flickering and all would be calm again. No light. No sound.
"Is someone there...?" the voice continued. Weak, but insistent.
As much as I wanted this person to simply fade into the white mass that tore at my cheeks, I could not allow myself to do that to them. It was Christmas after all.
But still, something nagged at me, what if this person wasn't real at all? What if I had somehow begun to lose my mind out here in what was quickly becoming a white nothingness?
"If someone.....please.....help......," the voice. Again. Again, but this time it sounded familiar. That tone. I knew that voice.
Almost simultaneous with this realisation, the wind picked up and all I could hear was a loud howling sound in my ears. Nothing else. Nothing.
But that voice, that voice was so familiar. I wanted to leave it alone and let it die in the snow. But something pulled at me and forced me onward.
Snow blew in front of my eyes and obscured the tiny flashing light. Now not able to see or hear anything, I felt myself awash in a sea of white. I loved snow. I loved snow, but not like this.
I began to wonder what would happen if I simply stopped moving and allowed myself to be swept up in this whiteness that was ready to engulf me. I wanted to fall into the snow and simply let myself rest.
"Is....anyone...."
I heard it again. It was fading quickly, but it was still there.
It was still there, and that was enough.
I continued forward.
My foot touched something and I feel to my knees. At first, I couldn't see what it was. But then, as I looked closer - I noticed the faint glimmering again. Only now it lay directly in front of me. I was wrong, there was no light. There had never been a light. It was simply a medallion that had been reflecting off the streetlights. However, the medallion itself looked familiar.
Last Christmas, a party like this. The last gift that was opened.
"Kalinka, are you really giving this to me? This is your amulet that your parents gave you!"
"I know Marr, but they gave it to me for safety and protection. They gave it to me so I would not feel so alone in the world. But now, I want you to have it. I want you to know that you, too, are not alone in this world. You've showed that to me, now I am returning the favour."
I looked down and was not shocked by what I saw. Marr was lying half-buried in this snow. His hair was caked with ice and his head rolled listlessly from side to side.
"Marr?" I spoke loudly, no entirely sure if he could hear me or not.
"Who...?," he moved his bluish lips slightly.
"Marr...Marr....can you hear me?" I clutched the amulet on his chest.
At first, he said nothing and I was not sure if he could see me at all. But then, he turned his head, "Ka....Ka...Kalinka?"
I felt no reason to correct him. "Marr, I'm here. Marr...how...why are you out here?"
"I...," he began as he shivered again.
Part of me didn't want to hear what I knew was coming. I just wanted to leave. Even if I did know him, would it matter if the snow buried him completely? I wanted to leave. But it was Christmas. It was Christmas and I just didn't felt right. I had to at least let him finish his story.
"I don't like snow," he coughed to himself.
"Marr?" I was insistent now. I wanted him to tell me why he was out here. Part of me blamed him for me being out here. "Why are you out here?"
"Kalinka....I....well.....I had to. There were....there was a man and he....he was loading a van. He was loading a van with gifts that were supposed to go to poorer children in the city. I...I walked up to him and asked.....I asked.....what he was doing? I....thought....he was delivering them. He....he didn't...answer me. He didn't answer me and, as I moved closer to him - I noticed someone in the back of his van. This person's hands were tied together and they were unconscious..." he coughed to himself.
Marr was late. Of course he was. That was why.
"I...I tried to stop the man....he was going to steal those presents....and, well, probably hurt the person in his van....I did what I could...but the next thing I remember is waking up and not being able to see anything because of this snow....I should have died....I should have...."
"But you didn't." I cradled his head in my arms. "But you didn't and that's all that matters." What was I doing?
"Ka...kalinka....."
"Marr, it's okay. I'll get you home. I am sure there are people there who would be glad to see you. Can you stand?"
"I-I think so," I grabbed Marr's hand and, with effort, pulled him to his feet.
"Hold onto my shoulder, Marr. I will get you home. Don't worry. I love the snow remember?" I smiled, without thinking.
"My scarf....," Marr muttered to himself, "it's...it's gone. It must have blown away."
I chuckled, "Marr, I have a feeling that you have quite a few Christmas surprises in store for you."
"Thanks Kalinka....thanks for...."
"Oh, it's nothing really. I was already walking you know. I was already...."
But I wasn't. I wasn't just going for a walk. A few minutes ago I was ready to let him die. I was ready to let the snow erase him completely and I wanted that. But now, now I wasn't so sure. Was it because it was Christmas?
"I was already....I....I....," I stopped myself and stood still. I wrapped my arms around this person who had become my reason for wandering outside in this terrible weather and, for the first time in my life, I felt a genuine smile cross my lips. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms tightly around him and whispered,
"Merry Christmas, Marr Vell. Merry Christmas."
Without saying another word, I resumed helping Marr through the field of snow that was once a series of streets, guiding him to the tiny light the hung above the doorway of my house.

-------

Merry Christmas everyone!

If I have time tomorrow, expect an epilogue. You are probably wondering how the party went.

~KB.