Warning: More self-indulgent whining ahead. Be warned.

I don't hate you.

In fact it is usually quite the opposite. And I want you to be happy, even though it doesn't seem like that right now. I just can't stand that you are allowed to be happy and be loved for it and I have to shut off in order to even see mild appreciation. That's why I bury myself in school. People can at least respect me (well teachers anyway) for my grades and can look beyond the "oh she's just a freak" stuff. That's why I try so hard at school. If I can prove myself to sound intelligent, then I don't have to worry about being reminded of just how wrong it is for me to be how I am. But there's a limit.
Intelligence only goes so far. If you're too smart, then it's the same thing all over again. You're not in danger of being too smart, but you're not stupid either. I've been told I'm too smart for my own good and that maybe that's why less people choose to talk to me than you. I'm not jealous of you, I think you deserve everything you get - but why can't I get that same respect and *gasp* consideration? No, that could never happen. Could it? Maybe I look in all the wrong places.

We talk, we act, we even dress similarly. They see you: cute, funny, smart, loveable. They see me: freak, wannabe, tries too hard, a waste of time.

I could probably drown myself in reasons why, but at least you're happy.

Maybe I just don't see myself the way the world does?

Tentative, not trying too hard love,
-Daisy.